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Tips for Being a Better Listener

Communication is the key to healthy relationships.  The less drama you have in your communicating, the happier you will be.  What that means is that you are not assuming things, generalizing, being disappointed when expectations aren’t met and living by “shoulds” or “ought tos.” Instead you are listening to your partner and expressing your needs and wants effectively.

How do you do that?

  • Good listening skills require you to respond to what you hear by saying, “It sounds like you feel…” and paraphrase what you think the person is feeling.  This indicates you heard and understood what was said.  Be open to the other person correcting you to make sure they are being heard properly. 
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The Power of Friends for Making Changes

Why would you want to change yourself?  After all, for 40, 50 or 60 years things have been going fairly well and life has served you adequately.  In fact, raising your standards is easy to think about, but difficult to do, unless you use the greatest resource for personal change there is – and that’s the support of other people.

Friends hanging together

Your friends are your cheering committee.  They are your helpers, your motivation and your enthusiasm.  Just like a boss setting up coaching and mentoring sessions to help his team develop and increase productivity, your friends will give you honest feedback and objective insights for your well-being and success. … CONTINUE READING

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Releasing Resentments: Letting Go & Moving On

What does letting go actually mean?

Letting go means releasing grudges and resentments, anger, pain or any negative feelings from the past, which can keeping you from feeling good now and of course, in the future.woman reaching towards the sky

Think of it this way. Here’s an illustration of what this means.

  1. Take a large plastic bag and fill it with laundry.
  2. Everywhere you go throughout the next hour, carry that bag of laundry over your shoulders never putting it down. How would that feel? Heavy, you’ll feel burdened, tired, uncomfortable.
  3. This exercise is symbolic of what it’s like carrying around the weight of hate, anger, grudges and resentment.
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How To Maintain Your Creativity

You may realize that aging causes many changes in your life — your hearing may be less acute, your hair may be thinning and your memory may not be as sharp — but there is something that doesn’t get lost as you grow older, and that is your wisdom and creativity.

You probably have something you feel very passionate about that you haven’t pursued in many years, because your focus was on family and career.  Now, with perhaps more time to revisit and resume your interests, you are finding that your previous frame of mind has changed and that your mature spirit is ready to come out of dormancy.… CONTINUE READING

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Building Strong Relationships: How to Be Your Authentic Self

Virginia Satir, who pioneered the most effective work in family therapy states the following:

  • ¨”Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Ask for what you want but know you will not always get it.”
  • ¨”Be responsible for what you think, say and do rather than projecting it on others or denying it.”
  • ¨”Identify your “shoulds” as well as beliefs you have grown up with that keep you caught in craziness and are not necessarily true.”
  • ¨”Treat people as you would wish them to be rather than blaming them.”
  • ¨”Be open to receiving feedback from others and listen to it carefully because you might learn something about yourself from it.”
  • ¨”Be gentle and loving with yourself and others.”
  • ¨”Celebrate ‘differentness’ in people. 
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