Baby Boomers Network

If you’re single because of divorce, death or you just never married, are you ready to start dating again? If you are, there are several important things you need to be aware of. Naturally, you want to avoid dating disasters. I mean those dates that waste your time, are annoying or just plain uncomfortable to be on. You want to avoid meeting the wrong person, who intimidates, controls or manipulates your life.

So how do you know what to look for?

1. The first thing to do is make a list of the qualities you would like in your date/partner. Be sure to include the absolute must-haves (honesty, sincerity, commitment, good communicator, same religion), but be flexible with those areas that you can take or leave (height, weight, income, education). 2. Clean out your own baggage and that includes any past anger, resentments, jealousy or unfinished business. Anything from your past can hinder your present relationship experiences and cause you to repeat past mistakes.
3. Go to the right places to meet people. If you are not the bar type, there are community workshops, seminars, adult-education classes, concerts, wine-tastings, bookstores, antique shows, political groups, etc. that would be great venues for interacting and socializing with like minded people.
4. Present yourself as a confident, empowered, fun-loving person to everyone you meet. There is no greater turn-off than someone who is insecure and lacks self-worth.

Take pride on your journey toward self-development and self-growth. When you invest in yourself, the payoff is a higher caliber person who is attracted to you and it’s a win/win situation all around. Dating is fun and you deserve the kind of relationship that is long-lasting and fulfilling.

There are so many ways of giving. You can give your time and you can give your money. You can give to people you don’t know through charitable organizations. You can give to groups that support your philosophy or values.

The saying goes, “The more you give, the more you shall receive.” This is very true, because giving allows the free flowing movement of more of the same. Give with no expectation of getting anything back. Give because it feels good and it is a way of expressing your gratitude for someone or something that made you feel good.

Did your religious leader inspire you today, leaving you feeling uplifted and renewed? Then give to your religious affiliation. Did a motivational speaker change your perspective on how your life is going? Then give of yourself to inspire someone else’s life.

Just think of someone who made you feel good about yourself, your dreams, your life and your goals and give them something from the heart. It’s like paying it forward.
In addition, when you give, you are training the brain that you have more than enough to give away, so that you are bypassing the notion of scarcity and lack.

Give money, if you want money. Give love, if you want love, give acceptance and tolerance, if you want the same. The secret to being successful in all these areas, is keeping them circulating in your life. The “Law of Tenfold Return” means that you will get back ten times what you give.

So, choose to give without expecting anything in return and be open to receiving everything that comes your way. By doing this, you are keeping the flow of good things coming into your life and to the lives of those around you. You will naturally be blessed with more “abundance” than you could ever dream possible.

What better exercise is there for the body, mind and spirit than reaching out to others? That is the true meaning of humanity. By giving to others, you are essentially giving to yourself - and the circle of life is complete.

Is it possible to make amends with a family member who you haven’t spoken to in ten/twenty/thirty years? There are so many reasons not to give in. The insults, neglect, and insensitivity you experienced are valid reasons to refrain from speaking again. But if you feel it’s long enough and you are ready — can you laugh, joke and be family again in spite of all your history? Is it realistic to mend your broken hearts and heal the wounds?

I think so, if the desire is there and both parties are flexible. Change is the important element to reconciliation. If both family members are resistant, rigid, stagnant and maintaining their stand on who’s right and who is wrong, there is no room for restoring that emotional connection so important in the healing process.

Consider this. If you are unwilling to grow emotionally, you will remain stuck and resolution is impossible. Feelings of anger, anguish, self-righteousness and pride will make all attempts at healing futile.

Therefore, look at your intentions. Are you expecting the other person to “give in”; are you demanding an apology or are you planning to instill guilt? If you are, then give up now. The estrangement will continue with no hope for change. However, with an open mind, and a willingness to leave behind the open wounds from the past, you will be able to promote growth and perhaps some reconciliation.

Remnants of the past will always remain, so don’t expect a simple or clear resolution. With hidden agendas on both sides, it is not unusual for resentments to flare up again, leaving you wondering why you even started. But eventually old animosities begin to lessen and the damages of the past begin to repair. You are starting to build a new foundation, based on other ways of relating. In terms of success or failure, that is yet to be determined, as you both inch your way toward creating a relationship that benefits you both.

Your new sense of connection and the intensity of your feelings serve to motivate and renew you. The process is restorative from the inside out and hopefully a positive outcome is in line for you both.

What better way to live the rest of your life, than with peace and harmony being the guiding light to your future?