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Building Strong Relationships: How to Be Your Authentic Self

Virginia Satir, who pioneered the most effective work in family therapy states the following:

  • ¨”Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Ask for what you want but know you will not always get it.”
  • ¨”Be responsible for what you think, say and do rather than projecting it on others or denying it.”
  • ¨”Identify your “shoulds” as well as beliefs you have grown up with that keep you caught in craziness and are not necessarily true.”
  • ¨”Treat people as you would wish them to be rather than blaming them.”
  • ¨”Be open to receiving feedback from others and listen to it carefully because you might learn something about yourself from it.”
  • ¨”Be gentle and loving with yourself and others.”
  • ¨”Celebrate ‘differentness’ in people.  See differences in others as an opportunity to learn and explore, rather than as a threat or a signal for conflict.”

Your life experiences, thus far, have made you who you are today. But you can reach greater levels of self-confidence and self-respect, if you act like the person you know yourself to be.  This means you don’t compromise, sacrifice or deny your integrity, values or beliefs for the sake of someone else. This means you care enough about yourself to nurture, encourage and support yourself with positive, honest self-talk.

When you start realizing who you are and what you deserve, you begin to live more responsibly and authentically.  Being “real” is essential if you want to have “real” relationships.  Virginia Satir believed that by starting within and healing yourself, you can heal the world.

Ultimately, the foundation for a strong, healthy relationship begins with you being genuine and authentic as this creates a feeling of closeness and respect for others in your life. Even when there are disagreements, in successful relationships there is enough emotional security to assure each partner that they are loved and appreciated.  Be who you are and your relationships will thrive and empower you to greatness!




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