Dealing with the Loss of a Friend

I lost my good friend, Helene, to cancer, a few weeks ago. She was a talented therapist who devoted her life to helping people work through their emotional pain and personal challenges. Helene was very dedicated to her clients and even through all her medical treatments, remained at work till she could no longer. However, Helene was unable to win her own battle against cancer, although she was a true warrior and survivor. She overcame breast cancer twenty-five years before and was in remission for five years after her first bout with lung cancer.

Her passing has been very difficult for me and our other good friend, Bobbi, as we developed a close bond that spanned over a decade. Our Sunday morning breakfast brunches and Thursday night dinner dates are a happy memory I will always treasure. Our personal and professional lives enabled us to work together on workshop cruises and enjoy holidays, weddings and events with each of our prospective families.

With the passing of my dear friend, I am working through the stages of grief, slowly, letting the process unfold as it will. I also know that my feelings need to be expressed, felt, shared and experienced to get to the point of healing and moving on.

Through it all I have gained many insights from this difficult life lesson:

1. That every day is a gift that needs to be appreciated and enjoyed.
2. That there is no time to aggravate over small, petty things and that even the big crises may not be as big as I think.
3. That there’s always time for laughter, play, fun, and recreation because life is meant to be lived.
4. That I need to tell my loved ones how much they mean to me so they know how important and needed they are.

I’ve adopted Helene’s cat, Mia, a beautiful red and white domestic long hair and we are adjusting to the changes in our lives together. Helene will always live on in the hearts and minds of her family and friends and I am grateful for the time we shared, though brief. The Buddhists have a saying, “We are alive; therefore we will die.” I will take this time to enjoy every moment and appreciate all my blessings and good fortune as I travel my life’s journey for as long as I have.