Domestic Abuse Red Flags

We go through life establishing many relationships, some good and some bad. Yet, we all want the same thing –to love and be loved for who we are. Why, then, are so many people, young and old, male and female in critically unhealthy, abusive relationships and unable to break free? October is Domestic Abuse Awareness Month and I feel it is important to address the red flags that are potentially dangerous symptoms of this kind of relationship.

Be on the alert if you notice these behaviors:
1. Excessive possessiveness and jealousy is a controlling feature to keep you isolated from others and under their influence.

2. Difficulty owning up to his/her behavior and often making excuses that lays blame on others.

3. A short, quick temper so that you have to walk on egg shells, never knowing what will set him/her off.

4. May possess a certain look, tone of voice or stare that is scary and intimidating.

5. Verbally abusive, making statements like, “You’re stupid, fat or crazy” and then claiming you’re too sensitive if you get upset.

6. Personality is erratic or unpredictable and exhibits low tolerance of others.

If you or someone your know is caught in this kind of relationship, there is a solution. Usually therapy and/or support groups help to empower you so you can make a healthy decision to either leave or change the dynamic of the relationship. Nobody deserves to be treated in a way that creates self-doubt and poor self-worth. By increasing your personal power, which is the string of values, worth, importance and respect you have for yourself, you can become a complete, autonomous person once again.
Amy Sherman is a licensed mental health counselor. She can be reached at amy@bummedoutboomer.com or http://www.bummedoutboomer.com Sign up for the Boomer eZine for inspirational, motivating articles.