After the Kids Leave, What Next?
by Amy Sherman, LMHC

The kids are off to college or out in the world making their first real money. You’ve done a great job getting them ready for adulthood and can now breathe a sigh of relief. However, as happy as you may be for them, it’s still sad that they are gone and the sense of loss may be overwhelming.
Even more challenging than the feelings of your home becoming an empty nest, is what to do with all your new-found time. You and your spouse are alone, together, and this transition in your life may bring up some deep-seated problems that may not have surfaced until now.

Some couples may have stayed together for the sake of the kids and may not be as close as they used to be, when they were dealing with daily parenting issues. Others may find this time to finally enjoy a second honeymoon. Single parents may view this phase as an opportunity to date without worrying about what the kids think.

For all parents, this is a great time to put your focus on you. Examine your options, explore your financial necessities and satisfy your emotional and social needs. For many parents, the empty nest experience is short-lived, with job searches difficult and housing costs tenuous. Therefore, the kids may be back at home before you know it!

Here are some things you can do to help you get through this transition time:

1. Keep your relationship with the kids open and positive. Enjoy your time together as adults.
2. Support your spouse in whatever new endeavor he/she may embark on. After all, you finally have more time to be creative.
3. Make a list of things you’d like to do in the next 10-15 years and then go for it!
4. Celebrate the freedom you now have and do what you want, including traveling, seeing shows and starting new hobbies.
5. Discuss any health, financial or emotional concerns with your spouse, a friend or professional. This will help you make necessary changes that lead to enhancing your overall well-being. Be sure to keep moving in a positive direction.
6. Explore having fun with your partner by sharing common interests or by learning something new together.
7. Declutter your home. Making space means you are allowing new and exciting areas into your life.

If you work on changing any negative thoughts you have about your situation and focus on your new life with expectation and excitement, you will be rekindling your spirit and renewing a sense of fulfillment. With new discoveries and new beginnings ahead of you, you can treat yourself to little luxuries that will add to your enjoyment of life. When you adjust yourself to your new lifestyle, you will see that a little pampering boosts the spirit and rejuvenates the soul.

Amy Sherman, LMHC, is a licensed mental health counselor in private practice. She is the author of “Distress-Free Aging: A Boomer’s Guide to Creating a Fulfilled and Purposeful Life” and Joy of Optimism 10 Lesson eCourse. Go to http://www.bummedoutboomer.com to get more information and to sign up for her free eZine. Amy can be reached at amy@bummedoutboomer.com