Recent research is showing that natural vitamins and supplements increase the body’s ability to ward of illness and reduce pain. New scientific discoveries from nature are being made into treatments for pain and other medical conditions with great success. However, only a small number of plant species are being studied for use in medical applications, even though research indicates a huge potential for medial breakthroughs.

While you should always consult with your physician before adding supplements or changing your medical regimen, here are some things to discuss, which may be helpful for your condition.

Calcium can be found in collard greens and is effective for headaches and nerve pain

Ginger, from ginger root, helps arthritis

Niacinamide, found in whole grains, is useful for pain and stiffness

Turmeric, as turmeric spice, helps with Inflammatory arthritis

Cinnamon, as cinnamon spice, regulates blood sugar

Bromilain, found in pineapple, is effective for sprains and strains

Resveratrol, found in red wine, grapes, peanuts and blueberries, helps with cardiovascular disease

B-Complex, found in legumes/whole grains, helps with peripheral neuropathy

Omega 3 Fatty Acids, found in fish oil/salmon, helps fibromyalgia, cardio disease

Pomegranate or pomegranate juice helps the prostrate and heart health

As traditional remedies and modern medicine merge, more and more people are discovering alternatives or additions to pharmaceutical products. Just remember, if it seems to good to be true, it probably is. Also, always seek out a reputable practitioner who can help you make safe, educated decisions.

Medical Supplies

Apparently, you learn many attitudinal patterns from your parents and become wired toward a certain direction. However, there’s a lot of learning you can do to take control of your outlook on life and keep the pendulum swinging in a more optimistic course.

Some people try lifestyle changes, like meditation, relaxation, and yoga exercises to keep their perspective upbeat and focused on the sunnier side of the spectrum. Others seek professional help through cognitive-behavioral therapy to change their irrational negative thoughts into more logical, hopeful thinking.

To identify where you stand, look at your habitual behaviors and notice how you explain things that happen. If you are more inclined to say things like, “Why do bad things always happen to me?” you are probably more a “glass-half-empty” kind of person. If, on the other hand, you feel bad events are temporary and situational, you lean toward a more optimistic view of life.

Optimism can be learned, according to Martin Seligman, PhD. author of “Learned Optimism”. You can reprogram your brain and nervous system to be free of negative thoughts and to allow in optimism, if you so choose. Just change your explanatory style, telling yourself that things are good, that “this too shall pass” and that things will get better and you will experience more happiness and increase your general sense of positive feelings.

Prolonged negativity is harmful and the more you can maintain a good perspective, the more you will experience positive long-term outcomes over your lifetime.

No, they are not losing their minds. Pets are no longer something to keep chained up outside or in a doghouse, but rather they are considered treasured members of our families. They are like our kids, only lower maintenance and more cooperative. They are a genuine part of the household, sharing eating, sleeping and family vacations.

Pets are so significant, that when our “real” kids leave home for college or to start their own lives, it is our pets that fill the empty nest and emotional void. Many of us are no longer burdened with the cost of raising children, and are even willing to use our extra income to extend the lives of our furry friends. We are opting for expensive surgeries and preventative procedures that rival human medicine, just to keep our pets around longer.

We continue to spoil our pets as we did our children and the bond between us and them is growing and strong. Our pets give us peace of mind and comfort during the difficult transition time when we must let our children “fly the coop.” They help us feel less lonely and more needed.

Having pets has so many health benefits, too. They help reduce blood pressure, triglyceride and cholesterol levels and even reduce the number of trips to the doctor and time spent in the hospital. Research shows that we have to remain healthy since our pets are so dependent on us for walking, feeding and maintaining their healthy quality of life. Pets decrease anger, frustration, depression and reduce stress. They also give us a sense of purpose and satisfaction.

My wonderful pet, Gus, was a feral, non-friendly cat when we first met. However, he became the most affectionate, devoted and loving cat I’ve ever owned. He has, by far, the sweetest temperament and disposition. Not only is he a “”lap-cat when you watch TV, but he’s a “curl up in your arms in bed” cat at night. The house is quieter without the kids, but just as joyful and alive with my sweet, best companion, Gus, in it.

Our animals are natural born healers and they lift up our spirits and bring us a feeling of well-being that we often can’t get anywhere else. There is no better way to enrich your life than by sharing it with the unconditional love of a pet (or 2).

Visit your local pet shelter and adopt!

The exhausting demands of family and work, the grueling stretches of disappointments and setbacks and the reality of a disturbing economy can easily set us all in a tail spin. However, this technique can rewire your brain to reduce the anxiety and alter the flow of your body.

Plus, it is effective for everyone. Herbert Benson, MD, director emeritus of the Benson-Henry Institute for Mind Body Medicine in Boston, prescribes this relaxation technique to his patients to reduce everyday stress and worry.

Here is what you do:

1. Find a meaningful, positive phrase that is ingrained from life experience or a phrase that is borrowed from a favorite book, movie, inspirational leader or mentor. I like to say, “All is well in my life.” For some reason, that phrase helps to remind me of all the good I have going for me.

2. Next, as you breathe, repeat the phrase as a mantra on the out breath. If your mind should wander, just take notice without judgment or reaction to your thoughts and gently go back to repeating your phrase.

3. Continue doing this for more than 10, but less than 20 minutes a day. The best times are in the early morning or late afternoon before dinner.

4. According to Benson, by breaking the train of everyday negative thoughts, you are counteracting the harmful effects of stress. Don’t worry if you are achieving a deep enough level of relaxation. It will work regardless.

5. Any condition made worse by stress will be made better, because the relaxation that comes from repeating your phrase, actually changes the substance of your body. Dr. Benson says that you ultimately change your genes’ expression.

With practice, this technique becomes easier and the results are more obvious. You will find you are handling difficult situations with less stress, coping with the trials of everyday burdens with less effort and responding to negative experiences and obstacles with a healthier, more positive mindset. When you feel like you’re on the verge of quitting, propel yourself forward by using your special, uplifting phrase as your mantra toward peace and serenity.

Researchers in Berlin studied honey bee behavior and how it affects their learning performance as they age. They found that by switching their social roles, aging bees can keep their learning agility intact and even improve it.

Can this be true for humans as well? The risk factors for age-related cognitive impairment differ in men and women. It seems that women need to be relationship focused – which means they need to maintain close friendships and family connections – for their brains to stay healthy. For men, the risk factors are more related to physical health like diabetes, stroke and weight.

Knowing this, can cognitive impairment be prevented? You can try by maintaining strong social relationships, by watching your weight and by keeping an active lifestyle. Don’t forget to learn new things (like the honey bees) to keep your mind sharp, involved and challenged.

Try this brain teaser for a good cognitive workout:

A farmer, when asked how many animals he had, replied, “They are all horses, but two, all sheep, but two and all pigs, but two.” How many animals does he have?

The answer is below, but try not to peak until you’re ready.

Answer: Three

To reduce your stress during and around the holiday season, be aware of the following:

1. Your holiday does not have to be based on the Hollywood image of perfection. Be sure your expectations are realistic and be honest with yourself about what you can and cannot do during the season.

2. If you have lost relatives or friends, this can contribute to your sadness as the memories may be difficult to bear. Holiday time is associated with family togetherness. If the dynamic of your family changed because of strained relations, fragmentation, or death, you may have to create a new tradition that will redefine your family shared time and give you new, more positive memories.

3. Don’t try to do everything yourself. Get everybody to help by breaking down the tasks so that things become more manageable for you.

4. If things become too taxing, spend some time alone. You need to revitalize and recharge, so give yourself a break and some quiet time. Escape to a room, take a ride, or walk around the neighborhood. Whatever you do, you’re doing it because it will make a significant difference in your outlook when you return.

5. Don’t strap yourself financially. Spend within your means and if that translates into buying less, do so for your own peace of mind.

Holidays are a traditional time of mixed emotions. Know that your emotions will vary and that it is normal. It’s all about your attitude, so take care of yourself. The key is to recognize that you are responsible for your happy holiday mood so get out there and celebrate and enjoy the spirit of the season.

Here are some appropriate questions to ask yourself to gain a better view of how to live your best life now - and for the many years to come.

1. Am I paying attention to the needs of my body? Do I drink or eat too much? Am I being too lazy? Certainly, you can notice what needs to be changed so your body will totally thank you.

2. When I look in the mirror, who do I see? Am I feeling older than my chronological age? Is there anything I can do to improve my appearance and rejuvenate my spirit? Be objective and examine how you can make some necessary improvements that would make you feel good emotionally and physically.

3. Do I spend my leisure time wisely? I don’t want to be bored and uninspired, so what can I do to shake things up? Who can I call to join me in a new class, in a daily brisk walk or in an afternoon at the beach?

4. When was the last time I had a good hearty laugh? Do I take things too seriously? Can I laugh at myself and at all the trials and tribulations of life? Make it a priority to laugh at least 7x a day because it feels good to be happy.

5. Is my career fulfilling me? Can I change anything about what I’m doing to make it more pleasant to go to work? It may be time to review your career objectives and take some classes to update your skills or to learn some new ones.

6. Do I compare myself to others who appear to be richer, happier and more successful? Realize that many people may have more than you, but do you want their marital problems and stress related health worries? Don’t believe everything you see, by thinking the grass is greener on the other side.

Be clear about making improvements, and stop focusing on your regrets and mistakes. There are many questions to ask yourself that will help you understand how to make this journey called life much better. Remember, whatever you put into it, will ultimately be what you get in return.

Your familiar routine becomes the problem and that leads to boredom and frustration. Your life becomes so ho-hum that it’s no longer memorable. To get unstuck, you need to bring more spice and excitement into your life. You can only do that by shaking things up and by stepping outside your comfort zone.

Basically, if you realize that your thoughts, feelings and actions put you where you are today, then your thoughts, feelings and actions can put you somewhere else as well. Take an inventory of all the wonderful things that are happening in your life, whether it’s your job, your marriage, your friends, your children, etc. Acknowledge that you have done a great job and were successful in getting yourself to that point. Now examine what isn’t working and see if you notice how your behavior or thinking has manifested that too.

The more you expand your choices and how you use them, the more you’ll discover about yourself. You will then make your life more colorful and more spirited than you could ever have imagined.
Here are some things you can do to stop coasting and to start breezing through life:

1. Make one new decision right now that would flip your life around –just a little. You want to disrupt your present patterns so that your mind has to concentrate on a new way of doing things (for example, take a new route to work, join a Salsa class, write with your non-dominant hand).

2. As in the movie, “The Bucket List”, make a list of things you’ve always wanted to do over your lifetime –and then do it! Stop putting off learning Spanish, the piano, guitar or tap dancing because you deserve to have fun and enjoy your life to the max!

3. Start expanding your circle of friends to bring new ideas and activities into your life. Invite some casual acquaintances over for coffee or volunteer at your favorite charity.

4. Change your diet by exploring foods you never ate before and experiment with new recipes to excite your stomach and palate.

5. Change your appearance. Cut your hair, get highlights or revamp your wardrobe. What you are striving for is not super stardom, but to feel attractive and refreshed. You may not be aware of the many hair, cosmetic and fashion secrets that are available to enhance your appearance and make you look and feel younger. When the compliments start coming in, you’ll know what I mean!

It’s all about reinventing yourself. Think of it as a new adventure to explore all the possibilities that would make you more exciting and fulfilled. The changes you make are innovative and fun and will make you feel more renewed and revitalized. There are no limitations on what you can do. Stay open and flexible and you will find your forget about boredom and are living your much desired dreams.

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month and it’s a good time to bring awareness of an insidious crime that so many men and women are guilty of. Failure to protect is a serious offense in many states. The problem is that many women, for instance, caught in this situation are helpless to protect themselves. How can they protect anyone else?

We are all aware of women (and men) being brutally abused under the hands of an intimidating, manipulating partner who maintains power and control over them. Innocent children may not be the recipients of the abuse directly, but are nevertheless, experiencing the same fear, humiliation, shame and degradation as the victim.
There are no age brackets, racial groups, religious sects or financial levels that are exempt from experiencing domestic violence. If you or someone you know is caught in this situation, it is your duty to seek help – not only for yourself, but for the child. No one should be treated like a second class citizen in their own home. No one should feel unsafe in the one haven that should be your sanctuary. No one should be made to feel inferior or worthless as a result of the constant chipping away of your self-esteem. Your safety and the safety of the child is at stake and the only way to stop the cycle, is by taking charge of your life.

Therefore, contact your local domestic abuse hotline. Seek out support groups. Prepare your safety and escape plans and be sure to have the necessary support you need to make a safe break. Any violence is bad, but knowing how the violence can impact another individual – and doing nothing to stop it – is even worse. The key is to educate yourself so that you can make the best and healthiest decisions for yourself and those you love.

National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233

By staying angry, you are not letting yourself be forgiving. It also makes you skeptical of others and fearful about getting hurt again. The problem with this is that you become bitter. Your optimism diminishes; you become less tolerant of others and perhaps a little too sarcastic. Plus, your body remains tense, nervous and uncomfortable and it gets harder to shake those feelings of hostility or displeasure.

Therefore, to ruminate, rehash and mope about things that already happened, just doesn’t work well on the psyche or the soul. So, if your goal in the latter part of your life is to have loving relationships, to get along with people, to have many friends, to work well with colleagues, etc, then you need to recognize how your thoughts are self-defeating and sabotaging your behavior.

You may ask yourself the following questions to get a good reality check on your thinking:

1. Does being angry relax me?
2. Does blaming others make me feel loving and connected?
3. Does shouting really help me communicate better?
4. Does worrying make me feel good?

It seems obvious that harboring these negative feelings may actually be harmful. Understand that if you can’t change the situation, you need to find another way to respond or let it go. If you are aware of your reaction to things, you’ll find that you may over exaggerate or make it worse than it actually is. Don’t be like the woman who wrote to Dear Abby saying that she fought with her father, didn’t speak to him for three weeks and when she finally decided to make amends, he died in a horrible accident.

Life is too short and there’s barely enough time to fit in all the things that make you happy. Don’t waste those precious moments staying angry when the time can be better spent pursuing your dreams and fulfilling your bliss. Anger has its place and time. Just don’t let anger get so out of hand that it determines the choices that you make. Your happiness depends not on your set of circumstances, but rather on how you act on it.

Both women are independent, so at this point, they need no assistance. However, we worry about their welfare and dread the day when there’s a crisis when we’re not around. This particular facility we looked at is very clean and includes many activities for the residents. They go on weekly field trips to shows, museums, and out to eat and there’s in-house entertainment on Saturday night and movies twice a day. With a full kitchen, they can even prepare some meals themselves, if they want.

As a boomer, I realize that one day my children will be concerned about my welfare and looking into facilities to keep me healthy and safe. It seems that if you live long enough, this question will come up. There are not many options to consider, however. There’s long term care insurance that will keep you in your home, with help, if you invest earlier enough to afford the costs. Some of us may live with our children, if it’s not too disruptive to their lives. The rest of us will have to consider the independent/assisted living option.

While we can’t predict the future, the key for us all is to stay as healthy as possible, for as long as possible and remain independent. My 92 year old aunt is at an independent facility and is having a wonderful time with her boyfriend and female friends. She goes out to eat, plays cards and socializes all day long with other residents. Fortunately for her, she is healthy and mobile.

Maybe by the time I reach the age where I have to consider my final options, there will be more choices available. In the meantime, my husband and I and our moms are deciding on the best options for them. Obviously we should still look forward to getting older, because even with all the uncertainties, it’s better than the alternative.

The stress it puts on you and your family is huge and most times you just drop your hands in disgust without knowing what to do. Yet, there are lessons to be learned and strategies you can use to make things better.

Teens are going to argue with you no matter what the issue. This is how they find their place in an adult world, as they learn to transition away from being children to young productive individuals.

If you confront your teen with yelling and screaming, you will get that blank, glazed over look that lets you know they tuned you out. If you don’t bring issues up at all and let things slide, the bad behavior will just repeat itself another time, maybe even worse.

To handle these situations, try speaking in generalities at first, which will give your teen a subtle hint that their behavior is part of the discussion. If you don’t like their sassy tongue, for instance, let them know that if a friend of yours spoke to you that way, you wouldn’t speak to them anymore. That kind of behavior is unacceptable amongst adults, and that since he/she is almost an adult, it is unacceptable for them as well.

When speaking with your teen, you want to be kind, but firm, setting down guidelines and structure for them to follow, but not with the mindset of a disciplinarian. Patience is a key with teens. They need to know their boundaries, by not letting them do whatever they want, but also by not dictating what has to be done. They look for fairness, understanding, empathy and support. They want your time, respect and flexibility.

Show your teen you are willing to change your approach and your difficult teenager may let down their resistance, opening the door to further discussion, consideration and acceptance.

1. Learn to relax yourself. Naturally, before any procedure, your nervous system becomes unbalanced and stressed. Train yourself to settle down so that your system can perform in a way that works for you, not against you. You can relax by meditating, playing with your pets, being around supportive friends, laughing, experiencing nature and practicing deep breathing. What you are doing is aligning yourself with the natural order of healing, which is preparing your body to function optimally.

2. Maintain your personal control. There are certain parts of the surgery you have no control over, but you do have control over some things. Ask questions. Get all your concerns, fears, doubts and anxiety out by going to your doctor with a list of questions. If he/she can’t spend much time with you, speak to the nurses, who are usually very knowledgeable. Speak to people who may have had a similar procedure. The more you know about what will happen, the more in control you’ll feel.

3. Expect the healing process to happen immediately. Your body is always working to bring back its natural balance. Keep your determination to get back to the way you were by focusing on being active, healthy and vibrant. Retain a healing mindset so that your attitude is positive and hopeful. Repeat positive affirmations over and over to reinforce your knowing that you will be OK. “I am strong and healthy” or “My recovery is fast and easy” are two suggestions.

Of course, there are no guarantees. But by approaching your surgery with confidence, hopefulness and an expectation of positive results, you will experience the best possible outcome. Baby boomers want their health care to be optimum and they are serious about getting it. Your focus on a positive encounter will reshape your experience with your health care providers and create a wiser, more confident patient in you.

However, sometimes I can miss the subtle messages and overstep another’s boundaries. It’s not intentional, but it happens anyway. Sometimes, I am the victim of someone crossing my personal boundaries. In both cases, it is important to be aware of how you both feel and make the necessary changes.

Here is how I have learned to handle things when this happens.

1. The purpose of setting boundaries is to protect yourself from people who can be abusive.

2. By stating your feelings, you let others know that your rights have been overstepped and that you are taking responsibility for yourself.

3. It is easier to set boundaries and assert yourself with people with whom you don’t have strong relationships. It becomes more difficult, but even more necessary, with those you care most about.

4. Remind yourself that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity and that it is vital if you are to love yourself. Therefore, you feel comfortable revealing to others unacceptable behavior and the changes you will like them to make.

5. When you set a boundary, you also have to let go of the outcome. This is because, some people are incapable of changing. It is their choice to refuse to make things better. You also have a choice whether you will leave the marriage, end the friendship, find a new job or distance yourself from those who make you feel so uncomfortable.

Setting personal boundaries defines the edges of your physical and emotional space. I learned to pick the most important behaviors that needed to be discussed and then I stated my request. Fortunately for me, the people I care about were willing to make the necessary improvements to keep our relationships honest, respectful and mutually satisfying. I will also do my part to make my relationships as healthy as possible and am not too proud to heed any constructive criticism that would make me a better person.

We laughed, drank, and gambled and then laughed even more. There was bonding, camaraderie, relating and plenty of silliness. Girlfriends are a special mix. We share a nonverbal connection that binds us closely, so that communication happens without even speaking. Yet, when we talk, we’re all on the same page. Even “out of the norm” foolishness was appreciated when we analyzed the professional assets of the Jack of Clubs to the King of Hearts in a set of X-rated playing cards.

Although the amenities of the ship were not perfect (the air conditioning was not working well and they ran out of towels at the pool), we didn’t need too much to entertain ourselves. We could talk about anything, laugh about nothing and there were no limits. We shared, complained, shopped, ate and left “reality” behind us for a few days.

It was a weekend of fun, frivolity, lightheartedness and good cheer. We all know the health value of laughter and the power of good friendship. This weekend was definitely the cure for whatever ails you. Plus, with all the laughing I did, I must be the healthiest person around! Thanks, girls. Here’s to friendship and to doing it again real soon.

*Approximately 8 million American women have osteoporosis, resulting in more than 2 million fractures annually.
*One in two women over the age of 50 will have an osteoporosis-related fracture in her lifetime.
* An average of 24% of women who experience a hip fracture will die from complications.

Postmenopausal osteoporosis is something we, boomers, should take very seriously. I had the privilege of asking Dr. Karthryn Diemer, Clinical Director of the Bone Health Program at Washington University School of Medicine, a few questions to shed some light on this devastating, insidious disease. Here is the discussion:

1. If bone loss a natural by-product of a woman’s aging process, what specifically can be done to prevent it?

Dr.Diemer-There are several basic approaches that all men and women should do:
a. Adequate calcium intake - either through dietary means or with calcium supplements. The recommended daily allowance is 1200 - 1500mg/day. ( a glass of milk or serving of cheese has about 300mg of calcium)
b. Adequate vit D intake - 1000 - 1200 IU daily.
c. Ask your doctor if you should be screened for osteoporosis by having a bone density test.
d. There are several medications that are approved for prevention and treatment of osteoporosis. Talk to your doctor as to what would be best for you.

2. There are many products on the market now. Compared to Boniva and Fosamax, where does Reclast stand in terms of long term benefits?

Dr.Diemer- Reclast offers strong protection in regard to preventing fractures: In a three year study, Reclast lowered the risk of vertebral fractures by 70% and hip fractures by 41%. Fosamax and Boniva lowered the risk of spine fractures by around 50%. (although these were not head to head trials). Reclast also offers the convenience of once yearly dosing for patients with osteoporosis and every two years for women with osteopenia.

3. You should not take these products if you have low blood calcium. What does that mean?

Dr.Diemer- Your doctor should measure a blood calcium level prior to the infusion. One possible side effect is lowering blood calcium levels; therefore it is recommended that patients with normal calcium levels should be sure to take their calcium the morning of the infusion. If a patient has a low blood calcium, the physician should evaluate for the cause and correct the calcium level prior to the infusion. A common reason for low calcium levels is a low vitamin D.

4. Can Reclast be used as a preventative, if you have osteopenia?

Dr.Diemer- Yes, Reclast has now been approved for treatment of women with osteopenia. It is a 5mg dose every two years.

5. What if, after the injection, you suffer from adverse reactions? What can be done to diminish the symptoms?

Dr.Diemer- Approximately 15% of patients will have a side effect. The most common is fever and muscle aches. Taking acetominophen before the infusion can minimize these symptoms and it can be taken after the infusion if symptoms occur.

6. Research shows that all these products rebuild bone density. If you stop taking them, do things reverse?

Dr.Diemer- If any of the medications approved to treat osteoporosis are stopped, it is expected that there will be a decrease in bone density. Therefore, before any patient decides to stop their medications, they should talk to their doctor.

7. People are living longer now. What does the research indicate about using these products for 30-40 years?

Dr.Diemer- There is no data for long term use and fracture prevention (longer that five years) in any of the approved medications. We know that preventing fractures will improve quality of life and therefore our goal is to use these medications thoughtfully and with proper indications. More data will be forthcoming in regard to longer use.

I want to thank Dr. Diemer for this valuable information. Before you make your decision about how to treat osteoporosis, be armed with as much information as possible. Speak to your doctor, read all the literature on all the treatments and even speak to other women about their experiences. At the very least, get tested as soon as possible so you know the health and density of your bones. Remember, a busy carpenter never forgets to take care of his tools. Don’t be too busy to take care of your health.

Apparently, not only is it important to use your mind, but it is even more important to do so in a social setting. The University of Southern California has been researching a group of residents in Laguna Woods, who are active and self-sufficient, even though these elders are well into their 90’s.

The key to their brain health is the afternoon bridge game, where they must maintain a strong focus by remembering the bidding, the dealt hands and the strategies of their partner. If their memory should lapse, they are required to step down from the more serious games to the casual ones, also offered. While they are interacting with each other, at the same time they are maintaining brain health and fitness.

These residents are considered some of the most successful seniors in the world. In fact, this research is altering the way scientists are looking at the aging brain. While exercise and diet can’t hurt to keep you healthy and alert, it seems you need to be involved in a social connection with others to maintain your self-awareness. Psychologists believe that in isolation, a healthy mind can go blank and become confused.

Therefore, if we, boomers, want to maintain our cognitive independence, we need to stay close with our friends, have stimulating interactions and keep challenging our brains by trying new activities. George Burns once said, “You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” That works for me!

1. There’s more to life than money. Make sure you are having fun and enjoying this stage as it leads to your retirement. Laugh, smile, play and be silly. When you retire, with new freedoms and great potential, you will carry with you this great attitude for enjoyment.

2. Set exciting goals. Do you want to travel to Europe, learn how to ski or write your first novel? Start planning what you will do when you have more leisure time.

3. Continue to keep yourself alert and sharp. Be involved in life, not just an observer. Attend life-long learning classes or seminars. Keep challenging yourself with new, somewhat difficult and stimulating activities.

4. Expand your social network by making new friends, connecting with old friends, or by joining groups with common interests. People with large social circles tend to be happier and more fulfilled.

5. Think longevity. According to Dan Buettner, author of The Blue Zone, genes only account for 24% of why we live long and healthy lives. The other 75% is based on lifestyle and life choices. Therefore, take charge of your life now because if it’s going to be a long one, it might as well be a healthy and vibrant journey.

6. Look back at the lessons learned and don’t make the same mistakes twice. Retirement is a time to explore and expand yourself, so if you’re looking for a new relationship, new career, new residence, new appearance, step outside your comfort zone and look for something different. Otherwise, you’ll be getting the same results you had before.

7. If you can’t afford to retire at 65, don’t. Think about working at least part time at your present job or finding something new that would continue to bring in income. Then save! If you’re hoping to live 20-30 years past your retirement, you want to have the resources to take you through.

8. Think about forgiveness. There may be some unfinished business, a grudge, or resentment that you’re holding on to. This may be a good time to reevaluate your position by letting it go and freeing yourself of the burden . Neale Donald Walsh, author of Conversations with God, says that disappointment is temporary but the thoughts are permanent. Think about how much longer you want to keep your thoughts on the issue, and if it’s possible , release it.

Whether your retirement is 15 years from now or 5, it’s never too soon to think about establishing positive habits that will be with you for the rest of your long, exciting life.

How heavy is this glass of water?

“How heavy is this glass of water?”

The answers ranged from 20g to 500 g. The lecturer replied,
“The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

He continued, “And that’s the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When you’re refreshed, you can carry on with the burden. So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don’t carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up after you’ve rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!”

I can relate so much to this story. I find that it is impossible to focus on anything else, when I am under a lot of stress.

Everyone knows that stress won’t go away by itself, but you can be managed. I understand that unease, anxiety, nervousness and discomfort only add to the stress I am already feeling. I know that I MUST do something about it. Staying stressed and overwrought all the time is counterproductive and harmful. The body needs time to regroup and revitalize (You can read about my stressful health crisis by signing up for my weekly eZine). I am always aware of my body and what’s happening to it and I am willing to take necessary steps to change it (like meditating, going for a walk, being with nature, reading, listening to music, positive guided imagery, etc.). These things really work if you work at it and are determined to find your personal peace and balance. Take comfort in knowing that this, too, shall pass.

You can’t imagine my thrill to be watching a mother feeding her baby, right in front of me, in the wild. I called my husband to come quickly and to bring the camera (which unfortunately is just a little digital version without a zoom lens). Needless to say, we took a mountain of pictures. I came back the next day hoping to see them again and as luck would have it, Mama was there, but on another tree were her twin babies – that’s right. She had another baby and they were perched on a branch together, looking down at me.

I have been back to the site numerous times just to watch them. My husband came back with our telescope and was able to creatively take a few awesome pictures. I named the babies, Chuck and Chelsea, and Mama seems to always be there in her majestic beauty, watching over her brood.

I could spend all day, every day, watching wildlife. For some reason, when you go to the zoo and see the Great Horned Owls, it’s just not the same as when they are free in their natural habitat. I realize that nature, wildlife, and all animals have always been my secret passion, and I’m finally at the age to perhaps do something about it. While I’m still working and don’t have time, yet, to volunteer, I will look into some options for the future. Meanwhile, I set up a new blog, called The Wildlife Chronicles, where I hope other people will report their sightings so we can all share our adventures. Go to http://wildlifeobserved.blogspot.com to add your own wildlife stories or leave your comments here.

You all know the importance of exercising. Some of you may already be committed to exercising several times a week. But, I bet there are still many of you who can’t find the time. The key to success with exercise is no excuses. It has to be a routine that becomes a significant part of your life, just like brushing your teeth. Find an activity you think you’ll really enjoy. Just one day a week, do yoga. Another day walk around the neighborhood with a friend. Still another, take Latin Dance lessons. You’ll be surprised at how the variety and focus away from “exercising” will make all the difference. Then watch how you feel and how the pounds fall off!

Are you annoyed with all your grey hairs and your natural muddy color? Go wild and get highlights to brighten your doo. Do your kids make fun of how you dress? Buy just a few new fashionable items (without spending your last dime) and you’ll feel like you’re representing Vogue or GQ. What you are striving for is not to be a super model, but to feel attractive and revitalized. You may not be aware of the many hair, cosmetic and fashion secrets that are available to enhance your appearance and make you look and feel younger. When the compliments start coming in, you’ll know what I mean!

Have you been putting off learning Spanish, the piano, guitar or other special interests? Have you been determined to volunteer at your favorite animal rescue facility, but haven’t yet? The changes you make are all fun. It’s not like being forced to go to the dentist! You are deciding how you want to be and then you’re going for it, because you deserve to enjoy your life to the max. Think of it as a new adventure to explore all the possibilities that would make you more exciting and fulfilled. This is how you reinvent yourself so you can be your best and most interesting YOU.

As I get older, it seems I feel more philanthropic and more concerned about the welfare of society as a whole. I am more inspired to do what I can to change the world and make it better. I think about where I can make a difference and I’m realizing it doesn’t have to be financially, but it can. I’m seeing that the more I give to people in need, the better I feel.

So, I’ve been seeing some clients pro-bono or at a reduced rate, realizing that the tough economy doesn’t eliminate the need to have good mental health. I’ve been spending time with an ailing older relative in the hospital and seeing the joy it brings him to have some company.

Here is also what I am learning:

1. Not only does it feel good to help family and friends, but it’s very rewarding helping strangers.
2. It’s good to share the value of being generous to others, because it gives them an incentive to “pay it forward” as well.
3. Generosity is not dependent on your financial ability, but rather on your mental ability to share yourself.

Erich Fromm states, “Not he who has much is rich, but he who gives much.” Generosity is a choice and when you give freely, it comes back to you tenfold. Therefore, you can expect wonderful things to happen – an unexpected gift, a beautiful smile, a special complement or words of encouragement. What can be better than that?

1. You need to secure your motivation. Ask yourself, “WHY do I want to lose weight?” Is it for health reasons (high BP, diabetes, knee problems), a smaller clothes size, a school reunion coming up? Be sure that the reasons are very strong so you can overcome obstacles with a reasonable explanation for your sacrifice.
2. Realize that motivation changes as you lose weight. You will find that your health improves, your clothes fit better and people are noticing the change. What will keep you determined to lose the rest of your weight? Therefore, revise your motivation as you go along, because your original reason may not be as important to you down the road.
3. Conscious eating must become a behavior that is internalized. In other words, it should become what you naturally and automatically do. My clients are taught to read labels for fat, calories, sugar and salt content and to stay within their prescribed guidelines. They use exercise to counter any deviations from their routine. They always go back to following their pattern of eating and don’t let setbacks, set them back emotionally.
4. If exercise doesn’t become part of your weekly routine, you are missing out on an important factor in helping you lose weight. If cutting back on your carbs doesn’t make sense to you, you are setting yourself up for cravings and overindulgence. It’s important to allow yourself some leeway to splurge, but only if you promise yourself to get back on target.

It’s not about dieting; it’s about lifestyle changes. It’s about feeling good about feeling good. It’s about passing on the chocolate cake because you want to, not because you have to. There’s no doubt that food is a comfort for many and that it’s hard to say NO. But you can do it by staying conscious of your food intake, by exercising regularly and by maintaining strong motivating factors that keep you committed and on track.

For more inspiring information on Motivation, check out my ebook, “Distress-Free Aging: A Boomer’s Guide
to Creating a Fulfilled and Purposeful Life”. Just click on http://www.bummedoutboomer.com/distressfreeaging/index.html

Recognize that you are experiencing the loss of a way of life and the security it provided. You may feel numb and be in disbelief, but it is important to feel your feelings, as with any loss, because it is all part of the healing process. Feelings of frustration and helplessness are common, since the situation was not initiated by you.

Here are some things you can do to cope better and make the transition easier:

1. Realize that to return to the quality of life you had before, you have to make changes. This means you must focus on the future and make a personal business plan you can follow.

2. Identify your skills, interests and abilities. Perhaps this will enable you to find a new career or direction that will be even more fulfilling than the one you had before. Look into distance learning programs to hone your skills or to learn some new ones. Don’t let procrastination sabotage your incentive to find or create new work.

3. Develop your support system or networking system, letting everyone know that you are looking for a job.

4. Talk things over with someone you trust. This helps you realize the reality of the situation, and offers input into things you can do or things you are good at. Join a support group to help you manage your feelings so they don’t control you. Understand what you are going through so you can move through the grieving process easier.

Coping with job loss is devastating at any age, but even more so when you are older. It is especially compounded when you are close to retirement, since it is a forced departure. You have a choice, however. As with any loss, you can stay fixated at the same point or choose to move on.
Learn to take ultra care of yourself during this time and you’ll be renewed with hope and energy. What seems to be a terrible setback, financially and emotionally, can actually be a catalyst for a hopeful new future and an exciting, new beginning.

1. For all your single friends, there is a great book called, “Stop Looking and Let Love Find You! (19.00). This step-by-step workbook provides methods and tools designed to help singles become emotionally ready to meet the love of their lives. Go to http://www.joann-simmons.com

2. For your fun-loving boomer friends, go to http://www.babyboomerretirementgame.com and purchase the board game which has its goal of achieving Inner Peace, by mastering Life Experiences, Health and Assets ($29.99)

3. For all your friends needing help manifesting their dreams, Sculptor 3 ($97.00) is the only program available that combines 7 of the best technologies already tested and proven to bring results. They are affirmations, visualization, alpha sound technology, subliminal technology, sentence completion, writing assignments and whole brain synchronization. Go to http://tinyurl.com/5a4a5l for more information.

4. And, of course, for all your baby boomer friends and family, I highly recommend getting them the readable CD version of Distress-Free Aging to help them jumpstart the New Year with positive, life-changing strategies and techniques for living their best life. Prices are slashed just for the holidays. The CD is now $19.99 (reg. $32) and the ebook is now $17.77 (reg. $27). Go to
http://www.bummedoutboomer.com/distressfreeaging/index_holiday.html

When looking for that special gift, remember that as we give, so do we get.
Therefore, give from the heart. Mother Teresa once said, “It is not what we do. It is how much love we put in the doing.”

How do you get through the holidays with your spirit and good will intact and actually enjoy yourself? Here are some suggestions:

1. Plan specific times with the relatives. This allows you space for yourself to do what you want.
2. Host celebrations at your home so you can invite who you want.
3. Be prepared for the unexpected and keep a sense of humor.
4. Just say no when you don’t want to see people who constantly make you feel stressed.
5. Surround yourself with friends and family that you like.
6. Avoid controversial topics with those who have strong personalities. Just nod and say very little.
7. Look for positive aspects of other people, since everyone has some redeeming qualities.
8. Know when it’s time to distance yourself.
9. You don’t have to be close with everyone, even if they are relatives. You just want to be cordial.
10. Keep smiling because New Year’s is right around the corner and it’ll all be over.

There are a lot of joyful and fun times associated with the holidays. If you can reduce the stress and increase the fun, you’ll be in good shape to survive the holidays and to keep the spirit of the season alive.

Check our http://www.bummedoutboomer.com/ecourse for more ways to help yourself.

I can share that had it not been for the flashback and writing my book, I would not have understood what had happened and the why of it all. I would not have been steered towards going back to the beginning and connecting everything to the present. This gave me the information and the courage I needed to change what I could, accept what I could not. One has to heal once there is understanding. But one needs to realized that the five stages after death will come into play: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. One does not heal without any or all of these steps.

What makes this book unique?
Every counselor or therapist who has read the book has learned information that was not available to them. Over 30 years ago, my methods of treating traumas through journaling and connecting with the senses during the trauma has been discovered by very few. I was told this method was cutting-edge. For a couple of weeks CNN had a severe PTSD victim share his ability to heal by journaling. Several have learned to do this from inner direction. I have other readers journaling their life right now and have amazed their therapists with their rapid healing. There is a technique in connecting the journaling to the senses and is shared through one-on-one. Once shared, the client can use it with their friends, family, etc. It’s a tool that can be used throughout their lifetime for addressing traumas immediately after they happen to help prevent the trauma from cementing into the psyche. The book also helps family members of a PTSD victim to understand what is going on. Relationships often break up more often because of the inability to understand what is going on or if it is felt there is no hope. The book offers hope and understanding.

What are the 4 most important points you can share about PTSD?
Point 1: Anyone can be a victim of PTSD; not just war veterans. Point 2: No matter how severe, there is a way of putting the flashbacks where they belong. Point 3: Anyone who has PTSD, has been either pre-traumatized prior to the incident that gave them PTSD, or has experienced the same trauma over and over again, as in numerous beatings, abuse, blown up bodies, etc. Point 4: No matter the abuse or the scenario that created a PTSD victim, the behavior disorders are pretty much the same in nearly everyone. This has come back to me from readers over and over again.

Aside from this book, what other products and services do you offer?
My path has taken me back to natural healing and I have enrolled in a school of natural medicine, specializing in trauma - past and present. We have a DVD, Dance of Release (DOR), for sale on Amazon and once I get my button fixed on our website, it will be for sale on our site. The DOR, through Qi Gong movements, opens doors of the Chakras to allow one to express themselves, not only through stress-releasing movements, but through heart, throat, and emotions, etc. We are looking to offering weekend retreats next year that will include using the third-view perspective of dealing with traumas and finish the retreat by making masks of empowerment. It, tentatively, will be a weekend of sharing, looking at and empowering oneself. This will depend on my two other colleagues and their schedules. I also hope to be offering alternative methods to dealing with stress and trauma, through other websites, blogs, our site, etc. A lot of options are opening up right now and I’m looking at each one.

You can purchase your own copy of My Journey to Peace with PTSD at http://www.peacewithptsd.org/e-commerce-solutions-catalog.html* Disclaimer: The information provided herein this book should not be used for the diagnosis or treatment of any medical condition, or during any medical emergency. A licensed physician should be consulted for diagnosis and treatment of any and all medical conditions. Links to other sites are provided for information only — they do not constitute endorsements of those other sites.

Yesterday the blog tour stopped at Polka Dot Banner with Jamie Saloff
The blog tour continues with Heidi Richards Mooney at WE Magazine for Women on the 17th.

1. They have a set of values and do not compromise their integrity to get what they want. Rather they maintain their strong principles and beliefs, which keep them feeling good about themselves and what they are doing.

2. Positive people associate with a network of like-minded individuals who support, encourage and energize them to stay motivated and accountable.

3. The key to staying healthy and keeping one’s mind alert is a willingness to constantly learn and grow. The most positive people are the ones who keep their knowledge base open so they never stagnate, physically or mentally.

4. It’s important to project confidence wherever you go. Positive people keep doubt and insecurity out of their realm of consciousness, believing in themselves and their potential.

5. Positive people step out of their comfort zone to take healthy risks, resulting in more opportunities and better outcomes. They are not afraid to try new techniques, new tools, and practice different strategies, with the intent of reaching greater heights.

6. Habits become part of your subconscious mind are no longer questioned. Optimism is a way of thinking and becomes a habit if you practice at it.

7. Positive people have a compelling vision and plan for their future. They have a clear blueprint or outline of what they want and everyday do something to bring it closer to reality.

8. It’s always good to believe that it is within your control to shape the outcome of your life and that you are not the victim of chance circumstance. Positive people are willing to put in the effort necessary to make things happen for their greater good.

You may not be able to change your past, put you can change and embrace the future with openness and optimism. All it takes is a willingness to try a new way of thinking and perhaps being. What better way to live through our “golden years” than by feeling good, hopeful and optimistic about what lies ahead.

Be on the alert if you notice these behaviors:
1. Excessive possessiveness and jealousy is a controlling feature to keep you isolated from others and under their influence.

2. Difficulty owning up to his/her behavior and often making excuses that lays blame on others.

3. A short, quick temper so that you have to walk on egg shells, never knowing what will set him/her off.

4. May possess a certain look, tone of voice or stare that is scary and intimidating.

5. Verbally abusive, making statements like, “You’re stupid, fat or crazy” and then claiming you’re too sensitive if you get upset.

6. Personality is erratic or unpredictable and exhibits low tolerance of others.

If you or someone your know is caught in this kind of relationship, there is a solution. Usually therapy and/or support groups help to empower you so you can make a healthy decision to either leave or change the dynamic of the relationship. Nobody deserves to be treated in a way that creates self-doubt and poor self-worth. By increasing your personal power, which is the string of values, worth, importance and respect you have for yourself, you can become a complete, autonomous person once again.
Amy Sherman is a licensed mental health counselor. She can be reached at amy@bummedoutboomer.com or http://www.bummedoutboomer.com Sign up for the Boomer eZine for inspirational, motivating articles.