Baby Boomers Network

I had an opportunity to ask the author of My Journey to Peace with PTSD, Lady Cerelli, some questions about her personal experience and her fascinating answers are below.

Why did you write this book?
Why is any book written? This book wrote itself: first as a sequence of traumas; second as a look at the changes after the traumas and how I was set up for the rape in the military; third as a counselor so others may see what PTSD looks like from the inside as well as on the outside. Most importantly, it helped me to heal. It was a matter of doing the homework I gave to my clients.

What did you learn from your experience that can help other PTSD sufferers?.
One does not experience PTSD. It isn’t something that happens overnight, but over time, subtly. The diagnosis comes when things go awry and cannot be explained. I cannot put into just a few words what I learned from my side as the victim. As a Spiritual Counselor, I questioned Viet Nam vets years ago to discern why some came back from war diagnosed PTSD and others not. I discovered those diagnosed PTSD were traumatized in their childhood; and those not diagnosed PTSD were not pre-traumatized. In the book, as a victim and a counselor, I was able to put the PTSD symptoms to the DSM-IV Criteria used for Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, and more.

I can share that had it not been for the flashback and writing my book, I would not have understood what had happened and the why of it all. I would not have been steered towards going back to the beginning and connecting everything to the present. This gave me the information and the courage I needed to change what I could, accept what I could not. One has to heal once there is understanding. But one needs to realized that the five stages after death will come into play: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. One does not heal without any or all of these steps.

What makes this book unique?
Every counselor or therapist who has read the book has learned information that was not available to them. Over 30 years ago, my methods of treating traumas through journaling and connecting with the senses during the trauma has been discovered by very few. I was told this method was cutting-edge. For a couple of weeks CNN had a severe PTSD victim share his ability to heal by journaling. Several have learned to do this from inner direction. I have other readers journaling their life right now and have amazed their therapists with their rapid healing. There is a technique in connecting the journaling to the senses and is shared through one-on-one. Once shared, the client can use it with their friends, family, etc. It’s a tool that can be used throughout their lifetime for addressing traumas immediately after they happen to help prevent the trauma from cementing into the psyche. The book also helps family members of a PTSD victim to understand what is going on. Relationships often break up more often because of the inability to understand what is going on or if it is felt there is no hope. The book offers hope and understanding.

What are the 4 most important points you can share about PTSD?
Point 1: Anyone can be a victim of PTSD; not just war veterans. Point 2: No matter how severe, there is a way of putting the flashbacks where they belong. Point 3: Anyone who has PTSD, has been either pre-traumatized prior to the incident that gave them PTSD, or has experienced the same trauma over and over again, as in numerous beatings, abuse, blown up bodies, etc. Point 4: No matter the abuse or the scenario that created a PTSD victim, the behavior disorders are pretty much the same in nearly everyone. This has come back to me from readers over and over again.
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It feels good to feel good. Yet, if I wake up in the morning and say, “Today’s going to be a lousy day, because the boss is back from vacation,” I already laid out the day’s events. It’s like I preprogrammed a miserable day, and it’s no shock to find out the day is exactly as I expected. I used words and their feelings to solidify how the Law of Attraction works.

The Law of Attraction answers your thoughts and the feelings behind the words by giving you exactly what you are requesting and offers you more of the same. Therefore, it is important to focus on what you want, rather than on what you don’t want. So you don’t want to say, “I hate being fat” and then feel depressed. Instead say, “I want to be thin” and feel how good that feels. By making simple statements that you think are harmless, you may be actually redirecting very powerful suggestions back to you. Have you ever noticed that by saying “I can’t”, you keep yourself from doing something? Doesn’t it feel limiting in thought and action? What about phrases with “never” and “always” in them? How many times have you said, “I never have any luck” or “It always seems to happen to me” and then feel sorry for yourself. It sets you up for failure before you even start by directing you on a cellular level to behave negatively and fail.

Even though I’m talking semantics, words have a strong effect on behavior so I avoid using certain phrases. I will not say “You’re a pain in the neck”, for fear that I’ll get a pain in the neck. I try to think about the words I say and say what I really want, instead of using those cliche expressions you hear all the time, like “You’re driving me crazy” or “I love you to death.”

By choosing the most effective and positive words to speak, you recondition the mind to achieve what it is you want, instead of what you don’t want. Therefore, things tend to move in the direction you choose, based on the fact that you attract what you put your most attention on.

Consequently, when I say, “I can do this. It’s possible to make this happen,” I am telling my mind and body that I can succeed and I am willing to take the actions to make it so. The Law of Attraction is simple if you understand that what you put out, you will get. So when someone asks you how you feel, say, “Great!” instead of “Fine” and make it a super day.

For more inspiring information, click on “Distress-Free Aging” link.

I sometimes feel jaded because I’ve been through so much. However, it’s important to realize that the same attention I pay to negative things can be better spent refocusing my thoughts on the positive. There is no point holding on to negative images when they only create more self-doubt, guilt and suffering in my life. Therefore, I try to let it go, allowing myself to move in the direction of love, compassion and forgiveness. Plus, I model what “naturally positive people” would do. Positive people are able to maintain their focus no matter what the circumstance or situation. They stay optimistic by creating personal stepping-stones to help get them past their occasional stumbling blocks. They are able to do this because they possess the following characteristics, which, I found, can be easily learned:

1. They have a set of values and do not compromise their integrity to get what they want. Rather they maintain their strong principles and beliefs, which keep them feeling good about themselves and what they are doing.

2. Positive people associate with a network of like-minded individuals who support, encourage and energize them to stay motivated and accountable.

3. The key to staying healthy and keeping one’s mind alert is a willingness to constantly learn and grow. The most positive people are the ones who keep their knowledge base open so they never stagnate, physically or mentally.

4. It’s important to project confidence wherever you go. Positive people keep doubt and insecurity out of their realm of consciousness, believing in themselves and their potential.

5. Positive people step out of their comfort zone to take healthy risks, resulting in more opportunities and better outcomes. They are not afraid to try new techniques, new tools, and practice different strategies, with the intent of reaching greater heights.

6. Habits become part of your subconscious mind are no longer questioned. Optimism is a way of thinking and becomes a habit if you practice at it.

7. Positive people have a compelling vision and plan for their future. They have a clear blueprint or outline of what they want and everyday do something to bring it closer to reality.

8. It’s always good to believe that it is within your control to shape the outcome of your life and that you are not the victim of chance circumstance. Positive people are willing to put in the effort necessary to make things happen for their greater good.

You may not be able to change your past, put you can change and embrace the future with openness and optimism. All it takes is a willingness to try a new way of thinking and perhaps being. What better way to live through our “golden years” than by feeling good, hopeful and optimistic about what lies ahead.