Baby Boomers Network

Who would have thought that addiction would be affecting baby boomers at this stage of their lives? But it has. Approximately four million Americans nearing retirement age have a substance abuse problem. How did this happen?

Boomers, who have responsibilities caring for their elderly parents, are dealing with their own health issues, perhaps raising teens, experiencing the empty nest, divorce or other losses are feeling so overwhelmed that their lives have spiraled out of control.

Can a little drink or two be so bad? It can if it becomes something you depend on to get you through the night. Or have you become addicted to your prescribed medication for pain or anxiety?

Many boomers take medications because they are so readily available, but it has caused them to become chemically dependent. Along with these and other addictions, like gambling and eating disorders, the future of many baby boomers is a cause for concern.

Boomers are more vulnerable to severe side effects of drugs and/or alcohol use. As you age, your body can’t handle the drugs as it would if you were younger. Many are likely to be physically and psychologically fragile. Recovery from addiction could take longer and use more medical resources, like private care and longer counseling services.

The Hanley Center, a nonprofit residential treatment center in West Palm Beach, FL has launched one of the first programs geared specifically for this population. According to the professionals, boomers are not as prepared to accept the aging process or their physical limitations, so they instead look for the quick fix - which can be Xanax, marijuana, alcohol or Oxycodone. Their challenges are addressed to help in the recovery process.

Certainly if you or someone you know has a problem, seek help. It is never too late to ask for help and treatment is available. The best thing to know is that the discomforts of life can be dealt with without medicating yourself into oblivion. It is possible to cope with your life issues in a healthy, constructive and positive way and give yourself a new lease on life.

It’s strange how, when you least expect it, your life is redirected because of a chance meeting. As a mental health professional, I do many groups, seminars, workshops and presentations that put me in touch with many people. This particular time, was different, however, because it actually changed my life.

Several years ago, I spoke to a group of women on Managing Life’s Transitions and a well-groomed, attractive woman came up to me after my presentation. She, too, is a lecturer, but she speaks on nutrition and health. She said she just returned from a lecture tour around Europe. She has a master’s degree in Nutritional Science and was back in school for another master’s in Psychology. I found her to be extremely interesting and was very impressed with her vibrant personality and inspiring message. It seems that 45 years ago she stopped smoking and put on about 30 pounds. With determination and drive, she said she lost the weight and has kept it off all these years. I asked her how she did it. “It wasn’t that hard”, she said. “I was tired of being unhealthy, with high blood pressure and arthritis. I could barely keep up with my children. I decided to change my lifestyle and my attitude and made a personal commitment to be true to myself, no matter what.” She said, “Sure, there were hard times, disappointing times, but I pushed through them, knowing that on the other side, there was my new life – one based on health, hope and resiliency.” She insisted I guess her age. With her gray hair and delicately wrinkled complexion, I guessed 68-72. She was actually 91. I was very impressed!

I learned a lot from our chance meeting that day. This dynamic woman possessed certain qualities that enabled her to age gracefully, without the “battle “most of us experience. What was it that allowed her to be so resilient during her most trying and difficult times? I had to explore further what it was that made her stand out and be so impressive. I started by exploring what she meant by “resiliency”.

Apparently, this woman picked up skills over her lifetime that gave her a strong determination and commitment to work through whatever crisis she faced. She took the stumbling blocks out of her way and turned them to her advantage, by staying motivated, in control and positive. You, too, can transcend your personal obstacles and incorporate her teachings into your life. In other words, you can continue to age with grace and dignity and have a wonderful attitude about your life.

With Domestic Violence Awareness Month upon us once again, it is important to stay educated and attuned to the nuances of abuse. So many people of all ages, women especially, are oblivious to the fact that a manipulative, intimidating partner has undermined their lives and taken away their self-worth and esteem.

Is it okay to be ridiculed, demeaned, criticized and blamed and still consider your relationship healthy? Is it normal to have to be interrogated for your whereabouts, your money spent or your visits with friends? How much do you have to take before your angry, intolerant partner breaks you down completely?

Domestic abuse is different than domestic violence but it is sometimes more dangerous and has longer lasting results. To be in a relationship where you constantly fear for your life or are afraid that what you say or do would result in a blowout, is more damaging than the actual physical altercation. After all, the hitting eventually stops. But emotional and mental abuse, the looks, the demeanor, the gestures continue daily, incessantly, because the manipulator knows this is how he (she) can break down their partner to be submissive and compliant.

Abusers learn at an early age how to get their way and what coercive behaviors will get them what they want. They may have been raised in an environment where they, too, cowered in shame and humiliation because of the abuse they experienced. The only way they know how to deal with conflict or confrontation is through intimidation and threats. Their coping skills are so poor that they rely on anger and frustration to fuel their behavior.

When you understand your situation, become aware of how you are feeling, and realize it doesn’t have to remain this way, you can get yourself out of the cycle of abuse. However, most times, you cannot do this alone. Seek help from a trusted friend, family member, professional therapist or your clergy.

Abuse will not stop until you decide you’ve had enough. And even though you may not be hit, slapped, pushed or kicked, you are just a “stones throw away” from the abuser crossing the line. It’s time to recognize your relationship for what it is and prepare to make some changes — because under all your fear is a treasure house of courage and strength!