You and Your Grown Children

If you are an empty nester or soon to be one, your relationship with your grown children should be a number one priority. After all, you don’t see them all the time, as they are on their own or out of the house. Your children are becoming responsible adults, and your guidance and support may not be as needed or as necessary as before, yet your caring and concern still counts.

You are still their parents and therefore, you want the best for them. However, there are boundaries that need to be set so that your children do not overstep the limits of your help and become abusive and manipulative. You want to establish the line between suggestions, authority, choice and decision-making. Therefore, as the parent, you have a new role to help your grown children establish their own identity, prioritize their needs and prepare themselves for financial and emotional independence.

Always be aware of the areas that may cause conflict between you and them. Here are the areas in question:

1. Misunderstandings due to poor communication
2. Values and lifestyle differences
3. The way grandchildren are being raised
4. Overall conduct
5. Religious and political conflicts
6. Grudges and hurt from the past
7. Spending habits

Love and respect are always an important focus at this time. After all, your children are now adults who no longer need to be disciplined, but rather need to have open and honest communication with you to assure that a healthy, strong relationship continues.

It’s hard to see your children struggle and it’s even harder to lose the close connections you had when they were small. Respect your adult children enough to listen to what they have to say. Don’t try to fix things; just be there and listen impartially, unless they ask for your opinion. Then share with honesty and sincerity.

The relationship you have with your adult children is only as good as the effort you put into it. Give it your all and you will maintain a healthy friendship that will last a lifetime.